I often find myself in spaces with other self-identified, race-conscious Black folk. You are what you attract. The “conscious” Black community is not perfect, but they are my personal favorite. A Black man with a commitment to his people… well… that’s… that (keeping my blog sfw.)
I often find myself in spaces with race-conscious Black men. I’m happiest in these spaces but disappointed to find their readings stopped at race relations. Meaning, as a Black woman I’m still in their space.
I stand on the shoulders of Black female giants when I say, misogyny is no way to uplift the Black community, Gentlemen. The news gets worse. Having a female relative isn’t enough to make you exempt. If that were the case, we could assume sexism would be a biological impossibility.
A potent analogy is an electronic walkway. You’re born. The walkway is set to move you towards the oppression of women. If you stand still, you move in that direction. If you walk in the opposite direction, you remain in the same place. You have to run.
I’m not just going to tell you to stop consciously and subconsciously hating women. I’m going to give you ideas that might help you start today! That’s the beautiful part about this post. And I don’t even get paid for this gig.
1. Stop assuming you’re the exception. Across the globe, having a penis comes with perks, and every perk requires that your fellow female human be denied something.
2. Be an unapologetic feminist. A belief in gender equality might look good on you. Try it on.
3. Respect women because you respect yourself. If your respect is contingent upon the actions of women, you’re perpetuating more of the same shit.
4. Stop interrupting, disregarding, ignoring. Wait till she stops speaking and then ask yourself what you’ve done to elicit such a response from another human being.
5. Equality is not the assumption of sameness. Respect does not mean treat me like a man. That’s some gender, color-blind shit. I’m a woman. I can do things you can’t.
6. Try looking at women wholistically. Stop referring to us by body parts. Stop fantasizing about us in fragments. My mind and my vagina actually cohabitate. They make household decisions together.
The oppression of women has led to your own oppression. Sexism is a threat to male freedom. Being a man means seeing yourself in one whole piece. There is no second brain, Gentlemen. Your sexuality has been degraded. We’ve personified your penis and given you no control over it. Don’t you find that dehumanizing?
7. Make conscious sexual decisions. We are all Godly beings. Sharing your body with another human is sacred. A man who demonstrates a lack of forethought in his sexual decisions is unattractive.
In these conscious Black male spaces, I have to speak from my vantage point. I have to share my experiences, thoughts, and reflections regardless of reception. A man’s gender identity does not give his perspective authority over mine. I have to demand that anyone in my presence be active in my spiritual uplift. I don’t have to accept oppression for a man’s friendship, companionship, or whatever else. I’ll just make room for someone who has given this a little more thought.